Gun-toting. Cynical. Survivalist. Leathery. Strong-willed. These are only some potential adjectives that outsiders consider after they imagine the average native Arizonan. As a result, we Arizonans defend ourselves which includes a wit sharper and crasser than an infected fishhook barrel cactus thorn. Like our states hot climate, our humor might seem dry initially, but when we warm you up, you’ll find it difficult not melting into laughter coupled with us. Allow me to share 10 stuff that only Arizonans find funny.
1. That priceless face that gringo visitors make as soon as they cover their taco in too much habañero hot sauce.
It’s truly precious how countless taco stand newbies immediately dump the greatest sauce available throughout their toddler-sized carne asada burro and attempt to cough it down as the roof with their mouth sizzles. If you wish to make any Arizonan laugh in pitiful scorn, literally start crying throughout your overly-macho peacocking.
2. Intentionally and loudly mispronouncing regional words — like saguaro and gila — in a very mixed crowd.
The best part is adamantly instructing listeners that we’re right as well as other people wrong. It’s especially funny to consider them “correcting” their friends as soon as they recover the place to find Michigan.
3. The horror that non-locals experience once they see and smell their first javelina close up.
Postcards and kids’ books make the collared peccary seem tame and perhaps soft. Hilarity ensues when non-Arizonans see those sharp tusks pointed their way the first time and smell their musky, glandular emissions.
4. Two-wheel-drive Datsun pickups loaded excessively high to acquire underneath the rapidly approaching overpass.
We can’t help but giggle and present wide berth towards 1970s trucks creeping at 20 mile per hour around the interstate. Their beds spill over and done with mattresses stacked sky-high, overstuffed brown couches, the rare child, and unfinished two-by-fours hobbled along with an inadequate number of, too well-worn bungee cords.
5. Mock shootouts along with Western reenactments.
It’s not really that the shootouts themselves are necessarily funny, but we chuckle at how so very engrossed the actors and tourists get. Sites including the OK Corral are four-deep with miserable screaming fourth-graders and dedicated history buffs who should know that these traps are painfully shy of accurate.
6. Other people’s sunburns
Seriously, there is no shame in slathering SPF 70 sunscreen on and wearing a huge hat, even on cloudy days. The wrath within the blistering Arizona sunburn is real. Maybe we can conjure sympathy initially it will happen to a pal or loved one. From then on, it’s fair game for pointing and laughing.
7. Jumping cacti
The barbs and joints of an hanging chain cholla don’t actually jump onto passersby. Or will they? Arizonans — especially the snarkiest among us — don’t necessarily worry about the science behind the plants. We just find watching you pull the needles by helping cover their tweezers exceptionally comical. (Start using a comb, silly!)
8. The vehicles people drive here, and how poorly they bring them.
For starters, you may have ancient elders propelling golf carts on sidewalks and/or interstates traveling at about 5 miles per hour, flipping everyone off. There are the gigantic monster trucks toting Confederate flags and “back off” Yosemite Sam mud flaps racing excessively fast on dirt roads. Next, giant swarms of pro-level cyclists buzz on your Toyota and scream to you to reduce and observe for bikes. Finally, tourists utilizing countries manoeuvre gigantic rented motorhomes incorrectly onto one-way streets. We also disintegrate into uncontrollable laughter when another yahoo insists he could cross a flooding arroyo. It’s either laugh or cry, people.
9. Hikers who bring weak hands water.
It’s somehow both funny but not funny when Arizona natives are evacuated from popular trails although they had been too lazy or cocky to get the gallon of water suitable obviously any good short desert stroll. Occur, now, dehydration is made for novices. It’s as opposed to a snakebite or killer bee stings — it’s preventable.
Yes, however, it’s gorgeous. Though the woo-woo factor is painfully high, and we just can’t help but laugh within the vortex cults, the kiva divers, the avid dowsers, as well as the crystal and copper wearing New Yorkers, all trying desperately to locate themselves on $500 Pink Jeep tours.