16 details If only my mother had told me before we relocated...

16 details If only my mother had told me before we relocated to Patagonia

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Photo: Kien Nguyen-photography Editor’s Note: Ava Brown is a daughter of Matador Contributing Editor Cathy Brown. They recently relocated from Michigan to El Bolsón in Argentine Patagonia.

1.Tissue paper can’t be flushed around the toilet.

Let’s just state that the plumbing in many places is ‘Argentine-style craftsmanship.’ Translation: sketchy but not very functional. This means you need to wipe your rear and throw the tissue paper within the overflowing bucket with everyone else’s dirty tissue papper. Something concerning this just won\’t strike me as sanitary.

2.Peanut butter is not going to exist here.

And, no, dulce de leche is very little suitable alternative. Even if it\’s just close.

3.This place is Hell in the world for a germaphobe.

You are expected to kiss strangers on the cheek when saying hello or goodbye, if you don’t accomplish this that you\’re thought to be a cold, rude brat. In an organization situation there\’s a lineup of 20 people waiting to enthusiastically greet you which includes a big kiss in addition to a hug. In addition, everyone shares glasses, straws, even forks without thinking twice.

4.In class they teach ways to inseminate sheep.

I know it’s Patagonia. I realize this skill may be necessary sometimes merely would look forward to raising sheep someday. But I’m not. And I’m still a bit traumatized.

5.Being a girl in Argentine culture, you will not be said to be great at soccer.

MACHISTA. Sorry, boys, however, when I kick the couch around the fútbol field, shut your mouths and intensify your game instead of not letting me play next occasion.

6.For anyone who is vegetarian, something needs to be wrong on hand.

Yes, I manage to still continue on living without consuming a whole cow per week. Weird.

7.Dinner may turn from 10pm to midnight.

If about to catch an evening owl, you\’re going to be starving come nighttime. Pain dinner at 5 or 6pm, just think of it a late lunch so you don’t confuse everyone.

8.Hitchhiking is a very common sort of transportation here.

Meaning to know when you will arrive anywhere. Or as it were arrive. And, joy, sometimes you are free to ride in the rear of pickups alongside muddy farm animals along with other random strangers, who, let’s remember, require that you hug and kiss them.

9.Christmas is within summertime.

Coming from white winters in Michigan, everything in regards to summertime Christmas is wrong for me. And one Christmas we lived in a small community where all of the kids got one present each. ONE. An excellent tradition that this kid is super psyched to embrace.

10.These are difficult-to-accept traditions — Argentine kids don’t get a tooth fairy.

They have “Raton Perez,” a mouse. Coming from the land of cute little fairies, there\’s something really unsettling with regards to a mouse sneaking around your pillow in the evening.

11.The horror of getting to put on the guardapolvo.

This can be a fashionista’s nightmare. It’s basically a shapeless white science lab coat that youngsters are required to use university. It’s white. It’s rural life in Patagonia (think: mud). It’s not nuclear physics to know how the two don’t mix perfectly.

* * *

On a positive note, Patagonia’s only a few bad:

12.Some bars and clubs listed below are ready to accept ages 13 or longer, and kids go back home at dawn.

My friends gathering and venture out at 2 or 3am. Modifications a bit of tricky when my ‘conservative’ mom wants her 14-year-old daughter home by midnight, but were oftentimes the way to compromise. And in case you have to get a lead within the nightlife, you\’ll find ‘matinees’ — tween clubs forever 10-13 that typically alternate from 11pm to 2am. Can you imagine a 10-year-old kid through the US getting selected for the club at 2am?

13.Amazing skiing awaits at Bariloche.

Any ski lover will have to appreciate the gorgeous views or Lago Nahuel Huapi as well as near-perfect snow conditions.

14.It’s extremely hard not to ever live in good condition in Patagonia.

Between organic food fresh within the garden, the full lack of having access to junk food, the need to literally walk 3 km within the river via the snow to arrive at anything, it’s virtually effortless to be great shape here.

15.There\’s a simple never-ending directory of feriados.

The Argentines certainly as their holidays — any excuse don\’t work and then to go provide an asado while using the neighbors! It might appear to be once or twice 30 days not less than there\’s no school for something. Some general’s birthday? No school. The anniversary of some general’s death? No school. Day honoring individuals who clean the teachers? No school. Day honoring individuals who cook within the school? Other separate day of no school.

16.I’ve learned to adore the dolar blue.

Dolar blue. Oh, earn money love those two words. I don’t see the specific economic details of how it works or why. Honestly, I don’t worry. All I must know is usually that as i return from coming to the US with dollars, there is an official exchange rate (currently around 1 to eight). Then there\’s the dolar blue exchange rate where Allow me to visit certain storefronts and currently get 1 to fifteen. There are going to be important things about being bicultural and having the means to access US dollars…