Photo: Mariano Garca-Gaspar
An Argentine doesn’t “kill time.”
He goes “towards a fart cloud.” (Está al re pedo.)
An Argentine doesn’t invite you with a “Hi, How\’s it going?”
He just says, “How are things doing, Big Balls?” (¿Qué hacés, boludo?)
An Argentine doesn’t say “I don’t are concerned about something.”
He says, “I are concerned about how the way I value a turd.” (Me importa un sorete.)
An Argentine doesn’t “go fast.”
He goes with the “Saints’ farts speed.” (Va a los santos pedos.)
An Argentine doesn’t add “speechless.”
He “shuts your ass.” (Te cierra el orto.)
An Argentine doesn’t just “have issues.”
He includes a “soap-opera-sized quilombo (gigantic problem).” (Tiene un quilombo de novela.)
An Argentine doesn’t “hit you.”
He “violently shits sticks upon you.” (Te recontra caga a palos.)
An Argentine woman doesn’t have got a “large bust.”
She has “plenty of rubber.” (Mucha goma.)
An Argentine man doesn’t use a “small penis.”
He carries a “peanut.” (Tiene un maní.)
An Argentine never says “it’s so bad.”
He says, “Just what a sharp drop, crazy man!” (¡Qué bajón, loco!)
An Argentine isn\’t “ignorant.”
He’s “pure grease.” (Es un grasa.)
An Argentine is not a “good friend.”
He’s someone created from iron. (Es de fierro.)
An Argentine doesn’t “scold” you.
He “powerfully fart-shits you.” (Te re caga a pedos.)
An Argentine doesn’t require that you “de-stress.”
He requires “rescue yourself.” (Rescatate.)
An Argentine doesn’t make an effort to “seduce a lady.”
He “releases the greyhounds.” (Le suelta los galgos.)
An Argentine doesn’t take action “immediately.”
He will it really “for a touch.” (Lo hace al toque.)
An Argentine doesn’t “imagine.”
He “flashes.” (Flashea.)
An Argentine is not only “in big trouble.”
He’s “shitting fire.” (Está cagando fuego.)
An Argentine doesn’t just “lack interest” in something.
That something can “suck amongst his balls.” (Le chupa un huevo.)
An Argentine doesn’t “get distracted.”
He “hangs himself.” (Se cuelga.)
An Argentine isn\’t “feeling like something.”
Something “is painting him.” (Le pinta.)
An Argentine doesn’t “laugh his take off.”
He laughs over-time “he shits himself.” (Se caga de risa.)
An Argentine doesn’t “fall madly in love.”
He’s “about his hands.” (Está hasta las manos.)
An Argentine doesn’t “be harmed.”
He “becomes shit.” (Se hace mierda.)
An Argentine doesn’t “fail doing something.”
It originates out “like his ass.” (Le sale para el orto.)
An Argentine doesn’t “bother someone.”
He “inflates said person’s eggs.” (Infla los huevos.)
An Argentine seriously isn\’t “afraid.”
He’s “shitting himself nearly his legs.” (Está cagado hasta las patas.)
An Argentine is not a “good guy.”
He’s a “top class guy.” (Es de primera.)
An Argentine is not “tired.”
He’s “fissured.” (Está fisurado.)
An Argentine hasn\’t “had enough” of something.
He’s “rotten.” (Está podrido.)
An Argentine doesn’t “phone you on the telephone.”
He “hits you with a tube.” (Pega un tubazo.)
An Argentine just isn\’t “very excited.”
His “batteries are fully charged.” (Tiene las re pilas.)
An Argentine doesn’t take action “inappropriate.”
He “weighs the anchor.” (Se zarpa.)
An Argentine doesn’t “run away” from a distressing situation.
He “escapes while shitting himself.” (Sale cagando.)
An Argentine doesn’t “con you.”
He “shits giving you.” (Te caga.)
An Argentine doesn’t “get angry.”
He gets “super hot.” (Se re calienta.)
An Argentine doesn’t “rob.”
He “drips.” (Chorrea.)
An Argentine doesn’t “like” something.
Something “fits him perfectly.” (Le re cabe.)
An Argentine doesn’t have “bad intentions.”
He has “bad milk.” (Mala Leche.)
An Argentine isn\’t “wasting his time.”
He is “egging.” (Hueveando.)
An Argentine doesn’t “win” a debate.
He asks you to “suck that tangerine!” (¡Chupate esa mandarina!)
